I wasn't quite sure what I was about to read when I saw the title but I went ahead because it looked interesting. I was heartbroken as I continued to read these women's situations and couldn't believe that this was actually happening in reality. I was moved and touched by the article and feeling quite inspired I decided to post it onto Facebook with a personal manifesto and confession of sorts. Well I have to say after I posted it I didn't quite get the reaction I had expect. I was a bit shocked and a little upset, was anyone even reading the article? It seemed like people were more concerned with what I had confessed to than what I was trying to say.
Now before I continue on with what I'm trying to say, if you aren't going to really read this blog through and be quick to judge what I'm about to say you better just stop now. I'm not going to waste my time trying to explain myself and the situations of what I did was not wrong.
The article I had posted was on women who had left their children in the car for 5 minutes to run a quick errand and ended up being arrested or criminally charged. As I read it I knew exactly how the women felt. Why should I wake my child or get them all out just to run in for a quick minute. I mean I had even done it myself, even on a couple of occasions. The problem is that I feel with this situation when just saying I left them in the car people would just gasp and call me a bad mother. The thing is you don't even know the full situation. And I feel that is exactly what happened when I posted that on Facebook along with the article.
Though I know they meant well, after people reacted more to my post on what I had done than what the article was about or the message I was trying to portray, I felt a deep and overwhelming sense that I was alone on my stance on this situation. I felt more than anything in that moment that I had done something deeply wrong, and that people would at any moment if I had left my kid in the car ready to scold me like a little school girl and call the cops! As I continued to process my thoughts I started to realize they didn't understand. This was not about me leaving my children in the car it's about taking the time to understand and help instead of thinking we need to jump to conclusions and teach someone a lesson by having them arrested.
I am not a bad mother, and I refuse to believe that I ever was just because I have made a decision in a moment that it would be better for my children and myself to leave them in a car while a run into a store to grab something quickly. Quite honestly there are so many things I do as a mother I'm afraid to let people know because I'm afraid they won't like it and judge me for it, and now worse after reading this article think I'm a bad mother and call the cops or child services. I was talking to my sister-in-law, after making my post, about these issues in motherhood and how the world is getting so crazy and then she told me that's why she just keeps to herself. It struck me that we are all too afraid as mothers to live the way we do and let others into our lives and the things we do without feeling like we are doing something wrong.
Just thinking about all these things has struck some deep emotions in me all day long. This life is not meant to be perfect and the way we raise our children individually and from parent to parent is going to be different. With the situation of the mothers from the article and my own I have felt like our society is becoming more and more like the scribes and Pharisees of Jesus' time. We are getting so caught up in doing every little thing right and perfect we cannot accept or reach out to help those who do things differently or in our eyes have done something wrong. We need to have a more Christ like view on these type of situations like Jesus and the women taken from adultery. Jesus told the Pharisees that he who is without sin should cast the first stone. Instead of having her stoned, or casting a stone at her being the only one without sin, he reached out his hand and told her to sin no more. Why can't we reach out our hand to the mothers of the world and try to find understanding and help correct mistakes and not jump to stone her like the pharisees or in our day's case, call the cops.
I have heard so many different types of ways we judge or try to tell mothers how they are to do things. Heck, I'm not even exempt from judging and wanting to tell mothers what to do but this day I am vowing to do something better with my life. Today I am dedicating myself to not only be a better mother but a better friend to mothers. I am challenging myself to reach out and help those mother's struggling with their toddlers instead of walking past and glad that wasn't me that day. I'm going to lift up and encourage those with children acting up instead of judging them and saying they must have done something to deserve that child. I'm going to cry and laugh with mothers through all the joys and pain that is motherhood. We all have 'dirty laundry", we all make mistakes, we all do things wrong from time to time so if your reading this I challenge all of you to try this. Stop judging, stop deciding what you think is best for someone else and start reaching out to help.
Motherhood is the hardest job I've ever had, but its also the best job I've ever had. I love every bit of it, even the hard and the bad, and I'm tired of it being degraded to something that isn't worth your time. Motherhood is the most wonderful and important job in my life and it's everything to me. I don't ever want it taken away so that's why I'm going to work my hardest to ensure that the mothers I run into feel that way too. I know who I am and I don't need anyone else to tell me that I'm good mother and I'm doing the best I can.
